Stars, Stripes, and Screams

A celebration of horror that goes hard on the 4th

While our country continues to be a complete shit show on the daily and the whole 'celebrate our Independence Day' thing feels a little more questionable each year, you can still find a way to enjoy the Fourth of July: through the beautiful, blood-soaked lens of schlocky horror movies.

Now, to be clear, Fourth of July horror isn’t nearly as popular as other holiday horror staples like Christmas, Halloween etc. Sure, there’s Jaws, but that film transcends this list entirely. You can argue it’s a horror flick, which I personally find strange, but I place it firmly in the “summer blockbuster” hall of fame. Jaws: The Revenge, though? That’s a whole other sordid tale. And while recent decades have embraced July 4th horror mayhem (The Purge, I Know What You Did Last Summer, The Bay), the VHS era wasn’t exactly overflowing with flag-waving frights. Still, we’ve got some gems to celebrate—fireworks, BBQs, murder, Gary Busey and all.

FROGS (1972)

Frogs is less “Fourth of July frog massacre bonanza” and more classic eco-horror, the beloved subgenre that brought us films like Piranha and The Swarm, which is basically a fancy way of saying “nature strikes back at the people who fucked with it.” As eco- horror tradition dictates, the plot here centers on a family of obnoxious polluters being targeted by the very thing they’ve been polluting. (The only other legally approved setup for these kinds of films is “scientists play God and nature takes revenge.”) So naturally, the Earth fights back, this time in the midst of a sweltering Fourth of July party thrown by the family’s crusty old patriarch.

But calling it Frogs and expecting them to do all the dirty work is a bit misleading. Most of the killing is done by snakes, spiders, lizards, and—yes—a turtle. A cute turtle, not even of the ninja variety. The frogs mostly just croak menacingly in extreme close-up for long stretches of time and kinda watch everything unfold. There’s also a wonderful moment where reptiles knock over poison in a greenhouse to murder, so toxic chemicals make an appearance and kill more than the frogs too.

I don’t exactly remember where I got this tape and don’t have a strong connection to it, probably because that pesky PG rating always turned me off as a kid. But let’s talk about that rad cover: a frog with a human hand hanging from its mouth. Adorable. Also, spoiler, that never happens. No frog eats a hand, leg, head or any other body part. Classic VHS-era false advertising.

Still, if you enjoy your horror with some on-the-nose environmental preaching, lots of b-roll of croaking frogs, and an extremely young, mustache-less Sam Elliott (in his first starring movie role), you could do worse.

"Sometimes, there's a man, well, he's the man for his time and place. He fits right in there."

Fourth of July representation ranking: 6/10. No fireworks and the holiday kind of gets lost in the environmental messaging. There’s an American flag cake, some decorations, and a family party. It’s shot in Florida, so the heat is on point. Bonus: lots of family squabbling, which honestly feels just right for the Fourth.

RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD or ROTLD as the lazier fans say (1985)

Okay, we all love this one (I think). It’s a stone-cold ’80s horror classic that truly has it all: punk rockers, chuckles-and-yucks-style humor, gooey gore, questionable IP theft, and zombies that talk. Plus, Clu Gulager is in it, and that guy absolutely rules. What’s not to love?

And you probably also know the plot: A pair of bumbling employees at a medical supply warehouse accidentally crack open a military canister containing a toxic gas that reanimates the dead. The gas leaks into the surrounding cemetery (convenient!), and soon a group of punk rockers find themselves battling the undead as the chaos spirals wildly out of control.

This movie is stacked with iconic horror moments:
– The goo-dripping, brain-hungry Tarman creature
– Linnea Quigley’s unforgettable cemetery striptease (if you know, you know)
– Killer punk rocker character names like Spider, Scuz, and Suicide
– Brain-munching, and that killer soundtrack

But when it comes to Fourth of July representation… this movie kinda drops the ball. There’s no real patriotism on display. No flags. No hot dogs. No fireworks (unless, of course, you count nuclear annihilation—which, to be fair, is a kind of fireworks show). Not even an American flag cake à la Frogs. And yet, ROTLD still gets lumped into the “July horror” canon, mainly because of those title cards stamped July 3rd and 4th, and because the whole movie feels like one long, sweaty, punk rock summer meltdown.

As for the tape? Shockingly, I didn’t own this one until full adulthood…like, three years ago adulthood. Yes, I should have my horror VHS card revoked, but at least I’m being honest with you. It just never popped up during my collecting years, and despite the film’s popularity, the VHS became kinda pricey. Still, like any good horror fan, I throw it on every now and then and even dabble in, and enjoy, the sequels.

Fourth of July Representation Ranking: 4/10. The July 3rd and 4th time stamps are doing all the heavy lifting here. Slim pickens. But a punk rock grave rave is enough to set off fireworks in my soul.

UNCLE SAM (1996)

And we’ve saved the most patriotic—or is it unpatriotic?—of them all for last. While plenty of horror movies have used the Fourth of July as a backdrop for mayhem, Uncle Sam goes ALL IN on the holiday. In fact, Uncle Sam wouldn’t exist without it. Every frame is soaked in star-spangled chaos, from the killer’s outfit to the themed kills to the very title itself. If the Fourth of July had a deranged, direct-to-video baby in the mid-’90s, Uncle Sam would be it.

Here’s the setup: A dead soldier mysteriously returns from the grave on the Fourth of July and begins murdering those he deems “un-American.” He’s decked out like a parade float, but he's got more in common with Jason Voorhees than Lady Liberty. Then some preachy stuff about the horrors of war happens.

Horror legends Larry Cohen (writing) and William Lustig (directing) team up for this one, along with a surprisingly stacked cast that includes Isaac Hayes, P.J. Soles, Bo Hopkins, and even Oscar nominee Robert Forster, who allegedly did the role to settle a tax bill.

But the real standout? That glorious lenticular VHS cover—one I already praised in my gimmick covers post. God bless A-Pix Entertainment for splurging on that thing. I have such a soft spot for this tape; it was a regular fixture at the local video stores when I was a kid. I vividly remember renting this during the summer of 1998, my most prolific VHS-renting summer by far. With ninth grade looming, a bike for transportation, and (finally) no fear of snagging an R-rated flick from a disinterested clerk at my local Blockbuster, I was free. I watched it in July (unintentionally on theme) and even made a bootleg copy on tape before eventually snagging the real thing as an adult. America!

Fourth of July Representation Ranking: 10/10. Did you expect anything less from a movie called Uncle Sam? We’ve got American flag impalements, a shady congressman getting blown up via firework, flag-burning murders, a flagpole hanging, backyard BBQs, military propaganda (both for and against), and a zombie psycho literally running around in an Uncle Sam costume. It’s the entire patriotic nightmare package.

HONORABLE MENTION: SILVER BULLET (1985)

Silver Bullet might lean more small-town Americana than full-blown Fourth of July chaos, but it still delivers two very important things: 1) Gary Busey: an absolute legend and chaotic embodiment of American energy, and 2) a scene where a werewolf takes a bottle rocket to the eyeball.

I asked for no Feldman in this one and you gave me Gary Busey!?!?

So, if you must, crack open a cheap beer, throw a hot dog on the grill, and let the patriotic carnage wash over you. These films might not spark any deep thoughts about freedom or country, but they will deliver frogs, fireworks, zombie punks, and one very angry undead veteran in a top hat. In other words: the true spirit of America.